I'm a bit thick thread...

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I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Furious Wolfie 180 on Wed Jul 16, 2014 9:40 pm

Only till last year I thought 'Timber' was pronounced 'Timberg'
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by AKA Topcat on Wed Jul 16, 2014 9:52 pm

I thought this was a darts site!
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by J Y Kelly on Wed Jul 16, 2014 9:55 pm

Once playing Trivial Pursuit my missus' sister was asked "Which two countries can you see from the top of Mt Killimanjaro.

Her Answer was "I don't know...India and France?"


She also thought the program ER was called that because it's the noise ambulances make.

True Story.

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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Captain Janks on Wed Jul 16, 2014 10:05 pm

India and France Very Happy Fucking hell.

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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Dutch on Wed Jul 16, 2014 10:08 pm

I still get confused with my left & right.
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by mattp on Wed Jul 16, 2014 10:37 pm

A relative of mine - female of course - once advertised that she had some "Chester drawers" for sale.
And the same relative heard a rumour that Midge Ure was "biosexual"

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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Furious Wolfie 180 on Wed Jul 16, 2014 10:50 pm

J Y Kelly wrote:Once playing Trivial Pursuit my missus' sister was asked "Which two countries can you see from the top of Mt Killimanjaro.

Her Answer was "I don't know...India and France?"


She also thought the program ER was called that because it's the noise ambulances make.

True Story.

tremendous Very Happy
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Ken on Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:11 pm

I once thought I saw a loaf of bread with my name on it. Turns out it was thick cut.
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Falconhoof on Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:13 pm

I occasionally piss through my arse and shit through my dick, ha ha, I forget which one is supposed to do what, travellers.
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by OnTheWire on Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:29 pm

Falconhoof wrote:I occasionally piss through my arse and shit through my dick, ha ha, I forget which one is supposed to do what, travellers.

Falconhoof paraphrasing "How's your Mother" by Derek and Clive, there.
"Now he shits through his prick"

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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by OnTheWire on Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:33 pm

I only realised about four years ago that the play on words in the name of The Beatles was that it contained the word "Beat".

Until then I thought they'd just changed the spelling for the hell of it, like "Kwik Save"
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Sir Geoff on Thu Jul 17, 2014 12:57 am

A few of us were standing at the tea shack on the beach one morning when someone said to one of the more dim-witted guys amongst us (not me!) "Who painted the self-portrait of Van Gogh?"

To which he spectacularly replied "How should I know, I don't know fuck all about art..."

I think a little bit of wee came out!
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Ken on Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:08 am

Sir Geoff wrote:A few of us were standing at the tea shack on the beach one morning when someone said to one of the more dim-witted guys amongst us (not me!) "Who painted the self-portrait of Van Gogh?"

To which he spectacularly replied "How should I know, I don't know fuck all about art..."

I think a little bit of wee came out!

is it james wade?
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Sir Geoff on Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:10 am

No, he was some thick cunt trying to fit in
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by macca on Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:14 am

Tyke getting shit done, there
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Joe Bananas on Thu Jul 17, 2014 1:32 am

I used to think Margaret Thatcher and Maggie Thatcher where two different people. I was only about six but there were probably adults who thought the same.
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Reddersisbent on Thu Jul 17, 2014 2:06 am

I'm really clever to be honest but a low point of my life was registering for a darts forum full of tramps, thickos and northerners.

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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Dutch on Thu Jul 17, 2014 2:14 am

Reddersisbent wrote: full of tramps, thickos and northerners.

No thickos around ear
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Pep on Thu Jul 17, 2014 5:53 am

Phoned up my bank earlier today as their website is utter shite, got through to a call centre in Sheffield and asked whether they had a certain branch in the Republic of Ireland.

Her reply ''Is that Northern or Southern Ireland''.

I hung up the phone at this point.

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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by J Y Kelly on Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:16 am

Pep wrote:Phoned up my bank earlier today as their website is utter shite, got through to a call centre in Sheffield and asked whether they had a certain branch in the Republic of Ireland.

Her reply ''Is that Northern or Southern Ireland''.

I hung up the phone at this point.

That's one thing to be said for the troubles... Nasty affair, but improved the English lay-persons knowledge of the geography, politics and religion of the place.

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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

Post by Joe Bananas on Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:51 am

You often see people say Donegal is in Southern Ireland.
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Re: I'm a bit thick thread...

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